Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
