That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
