I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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