He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
