update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize