I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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