Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
