is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
