you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
