yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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