Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
