I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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