Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
