Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
