I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
should my penis look like a turkey
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
