Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
