Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
