no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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