WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
