my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
