I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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