My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
