Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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