I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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