I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
