bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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