Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
