you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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