This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
