So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
