I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
