somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
