Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
