I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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