I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
