He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
