Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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