Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
