Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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