Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
