Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
