So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
