I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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