You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
