ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
