I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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