My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
