I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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