I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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