So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
